I'm a bitter old maid

Well. I believe the title says it all.



So help me God, I need to not be so bitter. Or grumpy.

- He is always online (or so it seems).
- Sometimes I im him just so we can have a conversation.
- Being OVER the distance thing is SO an understatement right now.
- I just want to be like a normal person. Sometimes that means I wish I was really on my own.

but its ok. I probly don't mean any of that. After all, I'm just a bitter old maid. And apparently an emo one at that.

Its just going to be one of those days

"My Hands are Tied"

I feel like my hands are tied.

I'm locked here for one reason for another,
Tied to this place because options are slim.

I feel like my hands are tied.

You can't move forward sometimes
because you aren't as young as you once were.

Then you start wondering if you should have been doing things differently all along.
Maybe if I were different, then things would be different.
Maybe if I would have turned left 2 years ago instead of going right,
then maybe I wouldn't be here right now.

And yet, I'm still here.
Hands tied.

You can't tell me there is freedom and then try to keep me in a box.
I don't want to hate things. I don't want to hate where I am. I don't want to hate where life has brought me.
But at the root of it all, I'm just so frustruated.

Just untie my hands.

Lord, lead me somewhere. You know what I can handle.

Maybe I'm here because I'm not done learning and growing.
Maybe the frustruation is just because I still feel those growing pains.
They are very sharp today.

Lord, untie my hands. Let me hold the rope as you guide me.
Just untie what is holding me down and holding me back.