Dear God,
I'm having a tough time trying to figure things out right now. I'm so tired of dealing with all this junk in my life. I'm tired of those that I love dying. I'm tired of adults acting worse than children. I'm tired of not sleeping through the night. I'm tired of things not seeming to work together at all.
But right now I pray for him. God, you know our situation. You know how long it's been since he's had a job. You know just how much it kills him inside each day that passes and he doesn't get a call back for an interview. You know how much it eats me alive to keep trying so hard to have hope and keep thinking that things will somehow work out.
You know how much all of this stress has begun to eat us both away. So I have come to the place where I have to ask questions. If you CAN do things like heal people and guide others into jobs, why don't you? If you are somehow over all of this, how can you let things go on this way? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do those so full of life find death far before they (and we) are ready? Why do grieving people act so stupid?
But mostly, why won't you help him find a job?
God, let this be the week. We're coming down to an agreed upon date and neither one of us wants to face what that might mean. So, please, don't let it come to that. I know he's working hard. Freaking help him already.
It's been two years. Two freaking long years.
