That date we've agreed on is growing closer every minute. Its like the weight of everything is so thick I can feel it. It's smothering me so I can't breathe. It's in my head like a bad song and it's all I can think about.
I know these next few weeks are going to be hard. I know I'm going to make it one way or another. But I also anticipate the moments where I don't feel like I'll make it.
I think yesterday was the beginning of the end. Its like something finally clicked and I am trying to make it stay that way.
It's not that I don't love him. Its not that I don't want to be together. Its that I need more than he can provide, and until that changes, this has to be it.
So here I am. All I want to do is sleep and forget about this mess.
